I used to have dreams. I use to dare to believe I could do amazing things and change the world I live in. In fact at one stage I had dreams of changing Nations!
But then life happened! Yep, that thing we call life gets in the way and I went from dreaming about changing the world to dreams about changing nappies and changing the towels in the bathroom!
For years, I clung to those dreams in the hope that God would bring into fruition what He had placed in my heart. That those dreams would spring into life and I would make a difference. That I would be all that He has called me to be.
But somewhere in the middle of day to day life, the devil got a grip on my heart and started whispering his lies to me:
“Really? You? Change the world? Seriously? How are you going to do that? You don’t have what anyone needs. You can’t even keep up with the washing, let alone make a difference in the lives of women! Just stick to your domestic duties and let me strip all those dreams from you. See? Isn’t it so much easier to not dream? You are better off without them. Just settle for a ‘normal’ life and don’t dream again, it’s not worth it. Just stay where you are……forever.”
And so for the longest while I accepted my position in life and settled for so much less than Gods best for me. Now please don’t hear me wrong, I absolutely love being a wife and Mum, that’s all I ever dreamed of being when I was a kid. It is thee most important thing I do and I love it. But I know God has many more lives for me to impact than just my family.
As we head into this new season and the kids start making plans for the next couple of years when they will leave home, I have been reassessing what my role is and what I am here for. As Phil so nicely put it the other day “As a Mum, you will be redundant in a couple of years” Once I got over the shock of that statement, I could actually see the truth in it.
Yes, I will always be their Mum, but my role is changing. They don’t need me to dress them, run them around and care for them like I did when they were little. They can now tie their own shoes, they can feed themselves, and yes, they can even shower themselves! They are becoming independent young adults, which as a Mum is my goal, but it is still a little sad to not be needed as much!
So I got to thinking:
Where does this leave me?
What will I do?
Do I even know who I am anymore?
Surely I am more than just a Mum and a Wife?
And as I watched a podcast this morning I heard these words
“God has heard the prayers you no longer pray”
Wow! As the tears began to flow, God started reminding me of those dreams that I laid down all those years ago. Those dreams that had lay dormant and lifeless for so long. Those dreams that I had placed on the shelf and had almost forgotten about. Wanting to breathe life back into them. To resurrect them. To bring back hope, excitement and purpose for who He has called me to be. Gently, ever so gently whispering into my heart, replacing those lies with His truth.
His truth of who I am and what He wants to do through me. Yes, little old me, who so often thinks I have nothing to give. He can do great things if I just say yes, start to believe who I am, and what I can do with Christ in me. And to just dream again!
So, how about you? What are those dreams that you have laid down for whatever reason? What is it that God wants you to pick up again? What is it that God wants to whisper into your heart?