It’s A Hard Week…

We all have them.
You know, the weeks where things just seem to be a struggle.
The week where you are tired, the hubster is away, you are trying to train a puppy (what on earth were we thinking!!) and where nothing is wrong, but nothing is right!

I have been back from Texas for 2 weeks now and I am going through my obligatory “I wish I lived in America” phase I tend to go through every time I come home from the land of Chick-Fil-A, Hobby Lobby, Mega Churches and all that seems good in the world.

Everything over there is so shiny and exciting, I mean even grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s is just the best! I love the shopping, I love the food and most of all I love the people!

I have made some incredible God connections and some days I sit here at the bottom of the world and wonder why I am here when a huge part of my heart lies on the other side of the world! Why would God keep me here, when He knows that all I want is to be over there?

This is not a new feeling for me and something I have battled with since we lived in the US in 2009. I am ashamed to admit it, but it took me a year to be ok with being back in NZ. Every time someone would say it was so great we were back, I would fake a grin and agree, but inside I was dying, fighting back the tears and so wishing I was back where I thought I belonged. Trying to scheme how I could get back there and whining to God how unfair it was that I had to be stuck here.

I have been back to the USA 3 times since then, and each time I’m sure more of my heart is left behind. Phil and I have toyed with the idea of moving there, but each time God has put the brakes on that plan and so we abide in NZ, until He says otherwise.

I love New Zealand, I really do. I have the most incredible friends, amazing family, and a life I am beyond grateful for. It is home and the place where we know God has called us to be salt and light.

And so I fight with my flesh. I fight with what my worldly self wants.  I cling to what I know God has called me to for in this season. I push against what I want and hold to what I know God wants for me. I battle worldly desires and fill my heart with His truth, His promises and His word. Knowing deep down, that if He wanted me over there…..I would be!

I know this is a battle I can and will win and so I stand firm. I stand with the authority God has given me and I refuse to believe the lies of the enemy who would tell me, “Of course, the grass is greener on the other side!”

I pray that God will settle my spirit and the peace that surpasses all understanding will fill me to overflowing. That I would just not settle for where I am but thrive where He has planted me. That I would not keep looking for the next big thing, but I would appreciate all the Blessings He places before me, each and every day…..even in the mundane. Lord, may I see all you have for me in the ordinary.

So, as we all face battles this week, from the small to the life-changing, my prayer is that you would stand firm in the knowledge that God is always for you and never against you.
You are where you need to be for this season, and God doesn’t make mistakes.

If you are a season of transition, I pray you would seek Him and follow His promptings.
If you are in a season of waiting,  I pray you would hear His voice and rest in the knowledge He hasn’t forgotten about you.
If you are in a dry season, I pray you would pick up your bible and saturate yourself in His word.
And if you are in a great season, my prayer is that you would take time, to smell the roses and thank Him for all you have.

a complete

4 thoughts on “It’s A Hard Week…

  1. Hi, Kathy! I found your blog and I’m excited to be following along. My brother and his fiance are considering moving to NZ after their wedding. I’m so excited for them and she is great, but I wonder if he will struggle with these same things having never lived anywhere else. She is from NZ and her family is in Kerikeri, but our whole family is in the US and they are both close with their parents and siblings. Deciding where to settle down will surely be a big decision for them. They seem to think they will be able to go back and forth somewhat freely (and they are quite financially blessed which certainly helps), but surely once they have children this will become more challenging. Sometimes I wonder how this will work out, but they seem perfect for each other except for the distance between home towns. Anyway, I’m looking forward to getting to know you better and I would love it if we could get lunch or coffee when I come to Hamilton in April!

  2. I totally understand this feeling Kathy! I’m a transplant from the US to Oz and I’ve lived in several other parts of the world and you leave a bit of heart in different places as you travel making many places feel like home for various reasons.

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