My Heart is Broken.

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As I sit here at my computer the tears are flowing.
I am trying my best to suck them up, but they are cascading down my cheeks at a great rate of knots, and onto my keyboard. I can’t stop them.

I have just had a message from one of the Mums whose daughter is coming to “Chosen” this weekend.
She wanted to let me know that her daughter is being bullied, coming home from school crying every day, and doesn’t have any friends. Now, I know this Mum and she is an amazing! They have an awesome Family and this girl comes from a loving Christian home. And I think to myself, if this is happening to a lovely Christian girl, what are other girls in the world facing?

My heart breaks for this girl and for her Mum. In fact, my heart breaks for all the young girls out there that this is happening to. Because sadly, this is not an isolated incident.

Seriously friends, what is the world coming to when we have beautiful 8-year-old girls being bullied? When once what was a problem for teens is now a problem for girls who are so much younger than that? Not that I want teens to go through it, but 8 years olds? It’s just not right.

But as I try and dry my tears, my sadness turns to anger at what goes on in the world. A world where we try and protect our kids the best we can, but it’s a world that would spew forth its hatred on young unsuspecting girls. Beautiful girls that have their innocence stolen from them. A choice that was not theirs, but will have consequences for years to come. A world where the actions of others can change the way a young girl will view herself, and how the lies of the enemy will take hold, and contradict God’s truth.

My heart breaks and I cry out to God “I just want to fix it all. I just want to help these girls. God show them that they are loved by you?”

And then I heard God’s voice clearer than ever. “Kathy, show young girls how much I love them. Show them that they are valued and cherished for who they are. Show them what it means to be a Daughter of the King. Show them that they matter. Teach them my truth. You know what it is like to be broken, show my girls how I can heal and restore.”

This is why I started #DOTK. This is what it is all about. Speaking God’s truth over these girls so that they may know God’s peace and love. Now I can’t stop the bullying or the teasing, boy do I wish I could! But what I can do is equip these girls with tools they can use to fight the lies of the enemy.

So as I prepare for this weekend, I am letting go off all the “Stuff” that is drowning me, all the schedules, the timetables and the logistics of who is going to sleep in which cabin! And I think about what God has asked me to do, what the real purpose of this weekend really is. I reread the message from this girl’s Mum, and again the tears flow.

I focus on what is really important…..getting God’s truth into these girls hearts. Yes, we will have lots of fun, that was never in doubt, but it’s my prayer that the girls would come away knowing who God has created them to be, and to give them the tools they can use to fight the lies of the enemy and remember God’s truth.

Friends, would you please join me in praying for the girls this weekend?


Looking Past The Busy!

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Ok, so ya’ll know how much I dislike that word right?

Busy!

It conjures up bad thoughts and an overwhelming feeling that rises to the surface every time I even think of it. I have tried as best I can to remove it from my vocabulary and I choose to use other words that have a less negative connotation.

But this week it is. In fact, the next two weeks leading up to #DOT-K camp is going to be a little manic. I knew this was going to be the case and I have tried to prepare myself as well as I can, but those old familiar feelings come back, and I am again, reminding myself to just breathe and take one day at a time!

“Breathe Kathy, Just Breathe”

If I had ten cents for every time I say that to myself, I would be a rich woman! But instead, I sit here in my office and I make myself “to-do” lists, I work through them and tick things off as I go because we all need ticks next to tasks to help us think we are winning at life right?

I had a team meeting on Monday night, and all of a sudden this good idea of mine to hold a camp for 8-12-year-old girls became more than just a good idea, reality hit me and a thousand thoughts raced through my mind:

What am I doing?
I can’t do this?
What on earth made me think I could pull this off?
What if the girls think it is lame?
Is it too late to cancel?
I could cancel right?
Ok, let’s cancel!
No, I cant cancel!
Or maybe I could?
No, I can do this?
What could go wrong?
Oh my goodness, so many things could go wrong?
It’s ok Kathy, nothing is going to go wrong?

I won’t share all my thoughts with you guys as they would fill this page (and the next) but I can tell you, my mind was racing at a million miles an hour!

And then God said “Honey, stop! Just stop! Do you not think if I have called you to this (But have you God?) Yes, you know I have! Do you not think if I have called you, I will equip you?”

And so started a wee argument with God:

“But God, I don’t know if I can?”
“I know you can”
“But someone else could do it better”
“I have called you”
“But, I have so many faults and flaws?”
“Yes you do, what’s your point?”
“Well, maybe I’m not the right girl?”
“You are! Have more faith in yourself, and have more faith in me. I just need your obedience, and I will do the rest.”

And here ended my wee argument with God. One that I knew I was never going to win, but one I had to have anyway!

So now as I look at the next two weeks, I am choosing to look past the busy, and know that this is what God has called me to do. All He is asking for is my obedience, and I can breathe easy knowing He will do the rest. Ok, so I still need to do a schedule for the weekend, and make tribes, and co-ordinate Leaders, and wrap gifts and make name tags, but the important stuff, God will do.

He is the one who will whisper in the girl’s ears how much He loves them. He is the one who will speak truth into their hearts. And He is the one who will make them feel worthy.

All I need to do is walk in obedience…..