Becoming a Pastors Wife….

So last week I wrote about the roller coaster ride we have been on lately and the process of us eventually buying a house. If you missed it, you can read it here.

The real reason we couldn’t find a house in Hamilton is because God had another path for us. You see, in this process of selling our house and trying to buy another one, God had a plan that we couldn’t see!

In August, we were asked if we wanted to be Senior Leaders at a Church in Te Awamutu (half an hour away from where we are currently.) Now my initial reaction was NO! A very loud and very clear “NO” I didn’t want to shift towns and I didn’t want to shift Church, We had been at Activate for 18 years and it was home to us. We had spent basically our whole married life there, our kids were both born into that Church, they were dedicated, gave their lives and were baptised in that Church. Our friends were there, our ministries were there, and I was quite happy where I was!

Why would God throw this at us when I was comfortable where I was?

Phil was keen and we had many long talks about it. I think at one stage he thought I was softening to the idea, but secretly I was praying that he would see that it wasn’t a good idea and he would turn it down! That he would say no so I didn’t have to be the baddie and turn it down! (Wives, this is not a good prayer to pray and I wouldn’t recommend it!)

Me? A Pastors Wife? Surely God, anything but a Pastors Wife…..the pressure, the expectations, the dresses, God you know I don’t do dresses! God, I can’t do this. What if they don’t like me? What if I am not who they think I am? What if they find out I’m not perfect.

But I love God with all His gentleness and His wisdom. He didn’t make me do this against my will. He didn’t use Phil to pressure me and He didn’t force me into this. Instead, He gently reminded me of dreams I had in the past, of all the good I could do in this new community, and He reminded me of who He has called me to be.

One day when I was home alone He whispered into my heart, and ever so gently prompted me to look ahead instead of everything I felt I was leaving behind. He spoke of dreams, of goals, and of changing lives. He spoke to the core of who I am and who He created me to be. He reminded me of words that have been spoken over my life, and He put an excitement into my heart that I cannot explain! And He released me from all the unrealistic expectation that had been placed on me, whether self-inflicted or placed on me from others.

I texted Phil straight away and shared all my revelations, and from that moment on, there was no turning back, we were completely committed, hook, line and sinker!

We had no idea at the start of the year that this is what God had for us. I love that He knows what we need more than we do! I love that He gently tugs at my heart instead of ripping it out of my chest. I love that He always has a plan and I love that He loves me beyond measure. Not for what I have done or am going to do, but just because I am me.

I am a little apprehensive and a whole lot excited about this new journey, and know in my spirit this is what God wants us to be doing in this season.

So, as I sit here in our temporary house, there are less than 5 weeks till we move. I have started boxing up (again) all our possessions to move to our new home. A home God has given us, in a community where He want’s us to be planted and leading a Church where we can have an impact.

Life is good my friends.