Facing Judgement…

God has asked me to live my life as an open book!
He has asked me to live a life of openness, transparency and vulnerability.

Now generally, I am okay with us. I put my life out there as an act of obedience to Him. To live my life honouring God for all that He has done and is doing in my life.

I am a pretty open and honest person, and I am not ashamed of facing my weakness’s and admitting my faults! I do this here on my blog, I do it on social media, and I do this in front of our Church family. I am who I am, and generally, I am okay with that.

But sometimes, just sometimes the judgement that comes with this way of living is a little overwhelming. I sit and I question God why He has asked me to live this way and question if it is all worth it!

People can be cruel. Their words and actions can cut to the bone and offhand comments are sometimes the ones that hit me the hardest. Actually, I stand corrected, it’s the comments I hear through the grapevine that cut the deepest.

Peoples judgement on my life, or on my family’s (whether they know the full story or not!) on a rough day, can bring me to tears. I am not perfect and my life is not perfect, I am doing the best I can, and trying to honour God every step of the way. Yes, I make mistakes, yes I don’t always get it right, and yes, absolutely I stuff up. But I am trying my best.

I have been accused of all sorts of things. I get judged for what I do, and then I get judged for what I don’t do. Sometimes I wonder if I can even win at all! I am never going to please everyone and I know that not everyone will like me (and on a good day I am okay with that!)

But you know what?
I am going to keep living my life as openly and honestly as I can.
Why?
Because God has asked me to. I am living my life for an audience of One and as long as I hear His gentle whisper to keep living this way, then that is what I will do!

I am genuinely sorry if I offend people with my honesty or the sharing of my personal life, but without being too harsh, at the end of the day they have a choice to follow me or not and so I will leave that up to them!

But to my loyal followers, the ones who love unconditionally, I will continue to live my life as an open book and it is my prayer that in some way I can encourage, inspire or challenge you to be the best version of you!