Its Okay Not To Be Okay!

I am not okay.
But you know what?
That’s okay!

As most of you would know, the end of last year hit me like a steam train traveling 100 miles an hour and me standing in the middle of the tracks facing it head on! I got severely whiplashed by life and feel I just haven’t been myself since.

I tried to carry on as normal (who even knows what “normal” looks like?) but I just couldn’t pull myself out of the funk I found myself in.

I was skyping with my accountability group the other day, (PSA: If you don’t have a group of friends you can be completely honest with and walk life together through the highs and the lows, then I highly recommend that you find yourself one!) Anyway, one of them said to me “Kathy, its okay not to be okay.” And with that simple statement, the tears flowed and I once again found myself at the foot of the Cross, because really, where else could I go?

I was tired of being strong.
I was tired of being responsible.
I was tired of carrying others.
I was tired of pretending I was okay.
I was just plain, flat out tired!

Later that day as I knelt before the cross pouring out my hurts and frustrations to Jesus, he said to me “Kathy, it’s okay not to be okay. You and me, we are okay and that’s all that matters at this very moment. Everything will fall into place, but for this moment in time, it’s okay to not be okay.”

Wow!
The release and freedom that came with those words were overwhelming. Sure, nothing in the natural had changed, my life still felt like a topsy-turvy mess, but me and Jesus, we were okay and that’s all that mattered.

I sat in the quiet and I allowed myself time. Time to process all the thoughts that were swirling through my head. Time to stop and actually listen to Jesus instead of making myself so busy I couldn’t hear his voice over the constant noise. Time to just sit, and be okay with not being okay.

It’s amazing how a few deep breaths and slowing right down has the ability to get things back into perspective. My whole life was not falling apart and running away to Alaska was not a good idea! I would be okay and in the meantime, it’s okay to not be okay!

So why am I telling you all of this?
Because if you are in a season of “not being okay” that’s okay! There is no shame in admitting things are not rosy and facebook perfect. It’s okay to admit you are not okay. It doesn’t make you a weak person, in fact, I believe the exact opposite. It takes a strong person to be vulnerable and honest!

Now maybe the whole world doesn’t need to know you are not okay, I realize God hasn’t called everyone to live a transparent life! But it is okay to tell the people close to you. To ask for prayer and to let those in your close circle know.

As for me….please don’t worry about me, I will be okay! I know this is just a tough season I am walking through and I know Jesus is right there with me.
I have not told you about my struggles for sympathy, but so that you yourself can be okay with not being okay! Believe me, I am not staying where I am, but walking into the freedom (albeit ever so slowly!) that God has for me.

I will be okay!