Follow the Process

That’s what God told me to do this year! To follow the process.
And what a process it has been!

This year has been one of the hardest for me that I can recall. It has had more of its fair share of ups and downs, and certainly more downs than ups!

Throughout it all God has told me to follow the process. Don’t try and skip ahead to the end, but to be present at each step to learn the lessons that he has for me. This hasn’t always been easy but I have done my best.

This morning I went to see my Chiropractor as I have pulled a muscle in my neck. It is incredibly painful, incredibly draining, incredibly tiring and after two weeks, not getting better!
To cut a long story short, my body has decided to boycott me and not function as it should!
Apparently, because of all the stress and tension, my body has gone into fight or flight mode and is producing way more cortisol than it should. This, in turn, has caused discs to come out of alignment, muscles to be pulled and numerous other medical things that I don’t really need to go into!

I came away from the appt feeling dejected and if being totally honest, feeling rather sorry for myself!
As I was driving home the tears started flowing:

Tears of frustration at the year that I have had.
Tears of frustration because lately, I have felt so close to God and none of this makes sense!
Tears of frustration because I thought I was getting better, but my body would say otherwise.
Tears of frustration at being so tired and run down.
Tears of frustration at following the jolly process and feeling like I am getting nowhere!

God said to me “Honey, there is more to this than just following the process. That is a great start, but you need to trust the process.”
And with that, the tears came a little harder.

Even though I feel like I am in limbo, God is always working on me, in me and for me. Just because this feels like a setback, doesn’t actually mean I am not making progress. I am having to remind myself that I am not where I was and that as long as I follow (and trust) the process, I will walk out of this season.

As I do all I can in the physical, I know God is working in the spiritual. I know He will never leave me, and I know (eventually) I will walk into a new season where things will not be so hard or painful.

In the meantime, I will follow the process. But more than that, I will trust the process, even when it makes no sense, or it feels like I am getting nowhere.

I choose to trust in the One who knows me best.