Disappointing God…..

Surely not?
Me?
Disappoint God?
Do I, really?

I was having my quiet time and came across the concept of disappointing God.
I was reading 1 Samuel 12 where Samuel gives his farewell speech.

In it, he talks about the history of the Israelites, their ups and downs and their disobedience, yet still, God loved them. I can’t help but wonder if He was disappointed with them! Time and time again they disobeyed God and lost faith in Him.
And then in my devotional, it said this:

“We are not unlike the Israelites; we too are sinners. We too become infected by our sin-soaked world. We disappoint God. We forget the good things He has done for us.”

That wee sentence right in the middle, that one that could easily be missed or skipped over: “We disappoint God”
Wow, it hit me and I couldn’t move on from it!
The thought of disappointing God devastates me, in fact, I would go as far as to say it grieves me.

I would hate to think anything I do disappoints God. I guess it comes from my years of being a people pleaser and wanting people to like me! I guess I want God to like me too! I know He does, but sometimes I forget His love is unconditional and I don’t need to earn His love. But just because His love is unconditional doesn’t mean I won’t disappoint Him……thankfully God doesn’t hold grudges!

But how do I disappoint Him?

Being disobedient to His calling on my life.
Ignoring the small prompts He gives me to pray for someone.
Taking blessings for granted.
Not spending time with Him.
Being “too busy” in the things of the world.
Not believing wholeheartedly in His word and His promises.

The list could go on and on. I know these are not huge sins in our eyes, but God has called me to be obedient and given me a blueprint on how I should live my life. Anything short of that is not honoring who He is, or who He has called me to be!

The beautiful thing about God is, He is gracious and loving. He is not disappointed because of me, but by my actions. He knows there is so much more for me when I am obedient and His disappointment comes from a Loving Father’s perspective, not a tyrants perspective.

There is no judgment, just a Father’s Heart saying “Come to me, my daughter. Live in the ways I have taught you. Live in freedom and obedience and know I look on you with unconditional love and acceptance. Rest in me. Walk with me. Listen to my whispers. Repent and let’s move forward together.”

And He reminds me that I am His favorite, and all the shame is washed away.

I am so thankful His disappointment is short-lived. His love is constant and unconditional.
So this week I have been repenting. I have been meditating on the ways I disappoint God, and asking for forgiveness. I have been wiping the slate clean, and I can tell you it feels so good.

I am not naive enough to know that I will never sin, but I am trying my best to keep short accounts with God, and this week (actually every week) I am so very thankful for His unconditional love and grace.