Doing vs Being

Walking with God is an adventure right? Whether we are on the mountain tops or in the valleys.
Either way, God is with us and I love that He promises to never leave us or forsake us……boy is that comfort for my weary soul!

This current season for me is about being.
Just being.
Not doing.
Being.
Now for this girl who is a “doer”, this is crazy hard! In fact, I would say I am more than just a doer, I am a fixer. If I see people hurting or in need, I just want to fix things for them! To ease their pain, to lessen their burden. But I am learning that people actually need Jesus more than they need me (I know right, who knew?) so my greatest weapon in fighting for people is my prayers, which I am doing more and more!

Anyway, that is a side revelation! Back to my just being.
It may sound crazy but I don’t know how to just “be”

I know that God made us human beings, not human doings, and His greatest pleasure is simply us! Not in what we do and achieve, but in us just being. Being with Him.

This last week has been the first week of my new “normal” in this season. It was meant to be a week of being. Now I had no idea what that was meant to look like, but I was ready for whatever was to come…..

Day One.
Listen to 4 podcasts ✅
Watch 2 sermons ✅
Bible Journal ✅
Clean out the linen cupboard ✅

Day Two.
Listen to 2 more podcasts ✅
Bible Journal ✅
Set some “new season” goals ✅
Clean out the pantry ✅
Make a list of books I want to read in this season ✅

Day Three.
3 loads of laundry ✅
Clean the bathrooms ✅
Vacuum the house ✅
Listen to 2 more podcasts ✅
Work out a plan for moving forward ✅

It wasn’t until Day 4 when I was having a conversation with Phil that I realized how my days were filled with ✅
I love ticks and lists, and I love being organized, but God gently whispered to me “You are missing the point of this season. It’s not about ticks and lists, it’s about “being” with me. All these things are okay and good but you are striving and that’s not what I’ve called you to do.”

Even in the midst of my quiet times and hanging with God, I still had my tick boxes and couldn’t just be!
And then I tried to justify it to God:

“But how will I measure my progress?”
“How will I know I have done enough?”
“How will I know I am closer to where I need to be?”
“How can I define if the day has been a success or a failure?”

And again God whispered to me “Honey, you are missing the point, being isn’t about tick boxes, it is about being. And if you just “be” that is enough.”

“But God, I don’t know just how to be! I don’t know what that looks like. I don’t know how to just be! I don’t want to be lazy and idle and waste this precious time I have been given”

“I know, we will work through this together. But I need you to know this one thing, you can’t get this wrong!”

Once again, I got on my knees and repented before God, tears streaming, grateful for His love and mercy. All the while fighting those negative thoughts that were telling me what a failure I was because I couldn’t just even hang out with God right!!!
But God’s love and abounding grace washed over me, and I’m so thankful that He looks upon us with love and acceptance, even when we miss the point and don’t quite get it right!

So, this is a new week, and a new opportunity to just be!
Honestly, I am panicking a little. My perfectionist’s brain wants to get it right, to still tick those imaginary boxes so I know I’m on the right track, but my heart realizes God knows I am trying and even if I try too hard, His grace will be enough because just being is enough for Him.

This is a process. One that I will follow until I get it right, or close to…..however long that takes.

But I’ve got time, Gods not in a hurry.