Locked Down And Left Out!

This lockdown thing is weird, right?
I don’t know about you but one minute I am loving it and the next minute, not so much!
I feel as though I go through a thousand emotions all in a day’s work, and sometimes it happens hourly. From highs to lows and everything in between. I am definitely running a gauntlet of emotions at the moment!

I was chatting with a friend today, okay if I was to be totally honest, I was whinging more than I was chatting, but I told her how weird I was feeling about everything, and how I felt so left out.
As the words came out of my mouth, I was wondering what I felt left out of? It wasn’t like all my friends were having Tupperware parties and I wasn’t invited. It wasn’t like they were all going to the movies and I wasn’t invited. It wasn’t even as if they were gathering together, and I wasn’t there! But the fact remained, I was feeling left out!

And then in my head, I was telling myself I was left out because I don’t have any friends and no one even cares about me!
Wow!
How one thought (or lie) can lead to another (and another!) and the next minute I am sitting there nearly in tears cause no one likes me and everyone is leaving me out! I’m not sure if your mind is that quick to go down rabbit holes but mine shot there in seconds!

And oh how the enemy would like to keep me in that space. Alone, isolated, and thinking no one cares! What a field day he can have when I allow one wee lie to creep in.
I am so thankful for good friends (yes I do have some!) and their wisdom! She talked me rationally through it and by the end of the conversation I was feeling happy, contented, and at peace. Yes, I do have friends, and no, I am not being left out!

In this season of lockdown, it is hard for all of us. We are all facing different battles and none of us know what the new ‘normal’ will look like. For those of us with control issues, this is even harder. And when things get hard, we get tired. And when we get tired we get slack (with our quiet times with God) and when we get slack, the enemy is quick to pounce!

As I was chatting with my friend, we worked out the answer.
And the answer is Jesus.
Whatever the problem, Jesus is always the answer.
Spending time with Him. Listening to Him. Reading His word. Laying it all at His feet. He is the answer to every question.

He is the answer to my loneliness and my self-doubt. He is the answer to my weariness, and lack of motivation. He is the answer to all of my issues and problems. He is the speaker of truth and dispeller of lies. He is the answer, He is always the answer.

And so I sat in my favorite chair and I poured out my heart. It wasn’t pretty but the best moments with God never are. We hung out, I cried and He filled the void as only He can do. At the end of the day, He is all I need, and as long as I remember that, I will be okay. Even if I am never invited to another party ever again, I will be okay!