Taking Offence…..

Gracie and I have some pretty random conversations!
It’s one of the things I love about our relationship, that as well as singing at the top of our lungs to Christmas Carols in the car!
We often joke they should make a reality TV show about us, people would be captivated at how random our lives are!

Anyway, we were having a conversation the other day about her being in Jail (too long of a rabbit trail to explain fully sorry!) but I told her I would visit her once every 2 weeks without fail.

She was absolutely horrified. “But why wouldn’t you visit me every day?” I explained that I was too busy for that and she said “Mum, you are the least busy person I know.”

For some reason her comment brought offense! Me, not busy? What do you mean I am not busy? What makes you say that? Really, do you not think I am busy?
I was about to barrage her with a million questions in my defense, when I had a thought “Wasn’t that what this year is all about? Wasn’t the whole point of this year to not be busy? So why was I so offended?

It seems our world glorifies busy. If you are not busy, then really, what on earth are you doing? It seems we take pride in “being busy” and if we are not, then do we even fit in? If we are not complaining about how busy we are, if we are not tired from all our running around, if we are not moaning on social media about how busy life is, then we don’t fit in!

The more I thought about it, the more I am thankful that I am not busy! Sure, I could very easily make myself “busy” but that’s not what God has called me to this year (and hopefully beyond that!)

God has called me to sit at His feet. To soak in His word and in His presence, and currently, I am loving every moment! I am shutting out the lies of the enemy that tells me that I have to be busy to be productive. That I have to have one thing lined up after the other to feel I’m enough. That if I am not complaining about how busy I am, I don’t fit in.

To be honest, it feels luxurious to not be busy! To have the time and space to just hang with God. It is a gift, and not one I am going to lose, just so I can join in with the choruses of “I’m so busy” so many people are currently singing. Sure, the guilt still comes when asked if I have a busy week coming up and I say “No, actually I haven’t” Some weeks I want to fit in and rattle off my long list of to do’s, but that’s just the people-pleasing, I want to fit in, side of my old nature coming out! 

At the start of this journey, I saw it as punishment. To have “busy” taken away from me, I was left feeling ripped off and left out. I never realized how much of my identity was tied up with “being busy” and how much I could fit into every day. Now don’t get me wrong, I was doing great things, but it all came at the expense of my relationship with Jesus. And I have learned that at the end of the day, my relationship with Him is thee most important thing…..full stop!

What a gift this journey has been. To choose Jesus over busy. Every day. To choose Him above all the world would throw at me. To choose to live my life for an audience of One. To choose to go against the grain of society, and know that I am truly loved and accepted without the title of “Busy.” It is not always easy and it’s a choice I make daily.

Oh, that I would sit at His feet and drink in all that He has for me. What a precious gift that I do not deserve. But that’s the beauty, none of us deserve it, but it is given freely to each one of us.

What are you going to choose this week?