Getting Rid Of Imposter Syndrome

Do you ever feel like you’re living a life that you aren’t worthy of?
Or living in a world where you don’t belong?
Or in my case, living like a fish out of water?

This is where I find myself at the moment.
I am writing my first book. I say first because there are 4 more in my head that will follow the first one. 
But even as I type those words, I cringe at the thought of considering myself a writer, let alone an author.

Now, on one hand, I know my thoughts are a little ridiculous. I AM a writer. I write words, therefore that makes me a writer. But to call myself an author just feels like I am pretending. Like when you were a kid and you played “Let’s be grown-ups” I feel like I am playing “Let’s be an author” in some make-believe world where you can “pretend” to be anything you want.

I shrink back when anyone asks me about my book and I downplay the whole thing. I smile when people get excited for me and try to come across as confident in what I’m doing. When inside I am doubting my competency, my skills, and my ability to pull this off! To actually publish a book…..and have people read it!

Phil questioned me the other day to really think about why I am writing this book.
Is it to be famous?
Is it to make millions?
Is it to prove something to someone?
is it to prove something to myself?

And I am happy to say, none of those are my reason!
My reason is that God asked me to. God said loudly and very clearly that this is what I am to be doing in this season.

This morning in my quiet time, God took me to Ephesians 2:10

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do”

And I sighed a huge sigh of relief and began to think to myself, I really am an author!
If God has called me to do this, He will equip me to do it. And it will all be for His glory….not mine!
No fame, no fortune, just simple obedience. Sure, there is work to do and I need to be diligent with what He has asked me to do. But at the end of the day, I am doing this to glorify Him with the talents He has given me.

So I write. Some days it flows and some days I need to dig deep. Some days I write with confidence and some days I write with trepidation. I have moments of “I am an author” and moments of “But am I really?” and with each passing moment, God is with me. Cheering me on, reminding me He has created me with a plan and a purpose, and I am His workmanship, created to do good works.

I am not an imposter. I am who God says I am, and I will live accordingly!