Finding Grace…..

Some of you may have noticed I have been a little quiet on here lately.

Now in the past, I would have made a thousand excuses and apologized profusely for my lack of writing, but that was the old me!
No, I am not becoming harsh and cold-hearted, but what I am doing is learning to give myself grace.

Grace.
This is not something I have extended to myself for as long as I can remember! I have it in abundance for those around me, yet when it comes to myself, I have always been harsh, critical and unforgiving!

There are a hundred reasons for this, which I won’t get into today, but I am walking through a season where I am learning to extend grace to myself.
As it’s a foreign concept to me so it has been an interesting journey, to say the least.
I am learning what grace looks like in my life and not just for everyone else around me.

I go through phases of “Yep, I can do this” to “Kathy, stop being so self-centered” and everything in-between!
It takes 21 days to build a habit and so I am persevering!
I am persevering through the temptations to berate myself over the smallest of things. I am persevering through the lies of the enemy that are constantly whispering in my ear. And I am persevering through the highs and lows of creating new habits in my life.

As most of you know, this year has been incredibly hard for me. It has been a hard slog to keep my head above water and live a “normal” life when inside I feel like I have been falling apart. Now, in reality, it hasn’t all been bad, there have been some major wins along the way, but I miss the old happy Kathy who was filled with love, laughter, and joy! Oh, how I miss her.

But as I journey back to her (or the new and improved version of her) I am learning so much and am so thankful.

Thankful for:
*The grace and unconditional love of God.
*An amazing husband who has shown me so much love and grace that I have not deserved.
*A family who adore me and stand by me no matter what.
*Friends who choose to journey this hard road with me.
*People who believe in me when I don’t have the strength to believe in myself.
*A deeper more fulfilling relationship with God.

So there is no apology for not writing more!
It’s okay. I will get back to regular writing.
But for this season, I am extending myself grace. I am not putting pressure on myself or setting myself unrealistic expectations that I cannot meet. I am allowing myself space and time to heal.

And if truth be known, I am even getting a little excited to see the new Kathy that God is growing me into!