Maybe I Am A Little Mean!

It’s a choice right?
Being kind. It’s a choice we get to make.
Now some things we do in kindness will come naturally but other times we have to make a conscious effort.

I’ve had it on my heart for the longest while that kindness is what’s going to change our world. Now don’t get me wrong, Jesus is the one who is ultimately going to change the world, but He uses us in His plan, and I believe part of that plan is showing kindness to a hurting and broken world.

Along with speaking into the lives of girls, I think kindness is my other soapbox topic. I could talk your ear off about it, I have started an Instagram page called The Kindness Project (which is not live yet, but I’ll let you know when it is!), and it’s something I am absolutely passionate about.

But as with most things, change starts with me!
I had the choice this week to be kind….or not!
No one would have known if I wasn’t. Nobody would have been any the wiser……except me. Oh, and Jesus, He would know!
It should have come naturally since I’m so passionate about it right? But I hesitated, I paused and I weighed up whether I was going to be kind or not.

I know that makes me sound like such a terribly mean person, and I guess I am a little. It wasn’t like I was purposefully being mean, but isn’t that just what the opposite of kindness is? Ouch!

So why did I hesitate in being kind?
Because the person who was to receive my kindness had hurt me.
And I had a choice to make, was I going to be kind or withhold kindness because of past hurts.

I pondered over this, probably more than I should have. I wanted to be kind, I really did. I wanted to be who I know God has called me to be. I am not normally a mean person. But when hurt stands as a roadblock, it takes a concentrated effort to do what would normally come naturally.

And so I had a choice to make. The thing was, it wasn’t a huge act of kindness, I wasn’t buying this person a house or changing their life in a drastic way, in fact, it was really a very small act, but one that would still come at a cost to me none the less. I would have to lay down my hurts and do what Jesus would do!

And so I did!
I did the right thing! I will never know if this act of kindness was received as it was meant, but that is not the point. I looked past my hurts and I did what was right!

And it felt good, and I walked a little lighter that day. I was obedient and did my part, the rest is up to God. And as I smiled to myself I heard Him whisper “Well done Baby Girl.”