Walking In The Wilderness

Have you ever had a season where you feel like you are walking in the wilderness?
Well, that’s me at the moment!
I know God is with me, He always is, but I feel like I’m walking through the wilderness without a roadmap or a plan as to where I’m going. I am walking blindly to who knows where or who knows what. It feels as though I am trudging through sand, sinking a little deeper with each step I take.

It has been an eventful year, with so many highs, but also some incredible lows.
My health has been my greatest challenge. I have had a stenosis in my airways that left me with only 15% capacity to breathe! It felt like I was living life breathing through a straw.
I had surgery 6 weeks ago to clear it, but as I type this, I am again waiting on surgery as it has come back. The Doctors weren’t surprised, but thought it would come back in 6 months, not 6 weeks!

So I am back to laboured breathing, a horrible hacking cough and no energy!
I am trying to remain positive, but it’s hard when day to day things take you twice as long and leave you feeling like you’ve just ran a marathon.

Because of the breathing troubles and the rheumatoid arthritis, I have been on a lot of meds which have so many fun side effects! One of those is that I am now “pre-diabetic” because of all the meds messing with my blood sugars. I’m hoping I can keep it at bay with some small lifestyle changes…..I’ll let you know how that goes!

On top of all the health challenges, we are also selling our dream home.
It’s not something we thought we would have to do, but God seems to have a different plan for us.
I have cried so many tears, I don’t think I have any left!
We don’t know what lays ahead but we are trusting God. That line seems so simple to type, but living it out is a whole other story.
I have moments where I am okay, and in the very next breathe I’m not. It is a roller coaster ride, and one I don’t feel like I signed up for. But here we are.

And so I have choices to make. And it is my choice. I can choose to wallow or I can choose God!
I choose to follow and trust God.
I choose to allow His Holy Spirit to guide and comfort me.
I choose to remain positive despite the challenges.
I choose God and His plan for my life.
I choose God. Always.