Happy New Year!
Okay, so I know we are half way through January already but I feel like I am just getting my head around this whole new year thing!
I am struggling to get out of holiday mode and back into the swing of real life, normality and routine!
It happens to me every January. I get all excited in December about what the New Year will hold and then come January, I bury my head and try to avoid the entire world. It’s like I have a wee panic attack, freak out, and want to quit my life as I know it. To run away where no one knows me, someplace where its cold and I can avoid not only people but also this muggy heat!
Every year friends. This happens to me every year! And you would think by now I would recognise these patterns (which I have) but the problem is, I haven’t figured out a way to combat these fears!
Now, to be honest, I don’t even know what I am afraid of!
I love my life, I really do, but come January, and every year it is like some kind of trigger that goes off in my brain and all of a sudden I am afraid of what lays ahead. Afraid of what this new year will hold for me. Afraid of what God thinks I will be capable of. Afraid to be all He is calling me to be, and afraid of what He sees in me.
I avoid social media, I avoid my friends (please don’t take that personally!) and I avoid anything and anyone that will force me to think about anything other than what I am having for dinner tonight! And as much as I love him, I even avoid deep and meaningful conversations with Phil in case he brings up what this year will look like for me! (cause I know he will have some truth and wisdom to share that I am not yet ready to hear!)
But you know what?
I will be fine! I always am. Give me another few days and I will be ready for what this year holds for me. I will be ready to embrace it, to run into this year with all that it holds for me, and to again, start living my life as God intended me to.
This blog is my own funny way of re-entering my life, so here we go friends, running into 2018 and all that it holds for us!
But as for the rest of this week, well I am going to bury my nose in yet another book, I am going to lie on the couch and indulge in more tennis watching, and I am going to enjoy this beautiful introverted space that God has gifted me!