Ok, so ya’ll know how much I dislike that word right?
It conjures up bad thoughts and an overwhelming feeling that rises to the surface every time I even think of it. I have tried as best I can to remove it from my vocabulary and I choose to use other words that have a less negative connotation.
But this week it is. In fact, the next two weeks leading up to #DOT-K camp is going to be a little manic. I knew this was going to be the case and I have tried to prepare myself as well as I can, but those old familiar feelings come back, and I am again, reminding myself to just breathe and take one day at a time!
“Breathe Kathy, Just Breathe”
If I had ten cents for every time I say that to myself, I would be a rich woman! But instead, I sit here in my office and I make myself “to-do” lists, I work through them and tick things off as I go because we all need ticks next to tasks to help us think we are winning at life right?
I had a team meeting on Monday night, and all of a sudden this good idea of mine to hold a camp for 8-12-year-old girls became more than just a good idea, reality hit me and a thousand thoughts raced through my mind:
What am I doing?
I can’t do this?
What on earth made me think I could pull this off?
What if the girls think it is lame?
Is it too late to cancel?
I could cancel right?
Ok, let’s cancel!
No, I cant cancel!
Or maybe I could?
No, I can do this?
What could go wrong?
Oh my goodness, so many things could go wrong?
It’s ok Kathy, nothing is going to go wrong?
I won’t share all my thoughts with you guys as they would fill this page (and the next) but I can tell you, my mind was racing at a million miles an hour!
And then God said “Honey, stop! Just stop! Do you not think if I have called you to this (But have you God?) Yes, you know I have! Do you not think if I have called you, I will equip you?”
And so started a wee argument with God:
“But God, I don’t know if I can?”
“I know you can”
“But someone else could do it better”
“I have called you”
“But, I have so many faults and flaws?”
“Yes you do, what’s your point?”
“Well, maybe I’m not the right girl?”
“You are! Have more faith in yourself, and have more faith in me. I just need your obedience, and I will do the rest.”
And here ended my wee argument with God. One that I knew I was never going to win, but one I had to have anyway!
So now as I look at the next two weeks, I am choosing to look past the busy, and know that this is what God has called me to do. All He is asking for is my obedience, and I can breathe easy knowing He will do the rest. Ok, so I still need to do a schedule for the weekend, and make tribes, and co-ordinate Leaders, and wrap gifts and make name tags, but the important stuff, God will do.
He is the one who will whisper in the girl’s ears how much He loves them. He is the one who will speak truth into their hearts. And He is the one who will make them feel worthy.
All I need to do is walk in obedience…..